It’s been a long time since my last post (March), and man, a lot has happened and a lot has changed for me. I’m a little less than 7 weeks from Ironman Canada, and it seems like every day is a battle, every day is a breakthrough, and every day is a blessing. Highs and lows- I’m both excited for the big day, and a little bit scared for it to be over with. In trying to determine what challenges I can admit on here, I decided to show my trepidation & internal debate like so:

I’m on a mission, but I’ve made some sacrifices.

I’m on a mission, and something is always hurting.

I’m on a mission, and I hate flying solo.

The past month, really, has been a battle with the above strike-through points. My training mileage has increased, wake up times have gotten earlier, and dismissing late night invites for the sake or “riding early” has become more frequent. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I’ve made attempts to to exist with people my age outside of my training plan, and the only thing I got in return was a broken pinky finger while playing beach volleyball. That, coupled with a back injury and nervous system issues, can make things more challenging and less fun than I thought this journey would ever be. I’ve had to pass on hiking trips, Frisbee golf outings, 4th of July fun-ness, anything involving alcohol, or that has hidden potential for messing up tomorrow’s training day.

In all reality, maybe I don’t have to admit any more challenges on here at all. Because it doesn’t really matter, right? That’s what a breakthrough is, I hope. Overcoming the challenge, whether it be mental and emotional, or physical and painful, or psychological and physiological (yeah- I said physiological, I know I’m a nerd!). I think I have challenges in front of me, because I’ve made the challenges for myself, because I don’t want to be the person in society, or to my family, or in a relationship, that settles with being less than BETTER for myself. Without a desire to want to be better on ANY kind of emotional, spiritual, physical level, one has no [I don't have a] reason to change, or reasons to seek out challenges.

BOOM.

How’s that for a breakthrough?

Hell. Yes. Sonofabitch, That’s what I’m doing.

And now without taking a pause, I’m going to tell you that that’s how every day goes for me. I start off a thought, an entry, writing a song, a workout, a conversation that starts in some sort of worry or concern, and within moments, some thought or event will happen that will change it all within seconds. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s my brain trying to release the right neurotransmitters to not reach a level of concern that could plague the rest of the day. Or maybe it’s a sign that I’m learning, or maybe it’s brain strengthening for the battles I’ll have come race-day. Or maybe it’s just God or Patman just giving me a slap in the face.

(I was actually just talking about Pat this morning, too, while running with one of my training partners, Jim Adams- I happily explained the origins and meanings of “Beasting” and WWPD. While explaining, we decided there was an odd similarity to an event that Jim and I did yesterday- Steve’s Tri, which is an informal triathlon dedicated in memory of one of Jim’s closest training partners from 2002. It sounds like Jim and Steve had a friendship much like Pat and I had, and I think the trip down memory lane for us helped out with 9 mile run we beasted.)

So, what’s left to let out on here? Shoot, nothing now. I know I’m swimming well, I can bike 100 miles without dying, I have great friends in my clients, physical therapists, and training partners that will keep me company on the rest of this journey. In a little over 6 weeks, I’ll be in Canada, making a dream (or two, right, Dad?) come true, in front of my amazing family, while absorbing the good energy and vibes that I know my true friends around the world will be creating for me.

I’m on a mission, and it’s going to be amazing. No strike-through necessary.